30 Funniest Lines From Country Songs

Nation song is not just for crying into your beer or filling your center to bursting with uninhibited patriotism. It will also be lovely excellent for amusing. In spite of everything, when you find yourself rising up deficient in the midst of nowhere, you want to have a humorousness about your cases in existence, or else you are going to be lovely depressing.

Since having amusing at their very own expense is a long-standing custom for nation song singers, listed here are a number of the funniest lyrics they have got get a hold of to this point, on subjects starting from revenge to dressed in the label “redneck” like a badge of honor. And when you nonetheless want a snort, take a look at 50 Dad Jokes So Dangerous They are In truth Hilarious.

You Ain

“An excessive amount of paintings is difficult for my well being. I may’ve died ingesting. Now I am killing myself.”

Toby Keith sobers up and realizes his spouse is if truth be told more or less a drag. If simplest he had recognized This Is Precisely How A lot Alcohol You Must Drink.

Mr. Mom

“How a lot smoke can one range make? The youngsters would possibly not devour my charcoal cake.”

The narrator of this tune tries his hand at being a stay-at-home dad and realizes simply how a lot paintings the activity includes. He may have had time to save lots of the cake if he’d recognized 20 Genius Area-Cleansing Methods That Will Blow Your Thoughts.

Brad Paisley Fishing

“If I hit that fishing hollow lately, she’d be packing all her issues, and he or she’d be long past by means of midday.”

Brad Paisley had to choose between his obsession with fishing and his female friend, and he selected … fishing. There is a reason why spending extra time with friends and family is at the record of 20 Surefire Indicators Your Dating Is Over.

Drop Kick Me, Jesus

“Drop kick me, Jesus, throughout the objective posts of existence.”

Jesus should be one heck of a soccer participant.

Flushed from your heart

“I have been flushed from the toilet of your center.”

The Guy in Black isn’t any slouch in terms of growing true poetry.

Gretchen Wilson sings

“Some other people glance down on me, however I do not give a rip. I’m going to stand barefooted in my entrance backyard with a child on my hip.”

Proudly owning as much as what many would regard as an “uncivilized” way of life is a apparently bottomless neatly of humor in nation song.

John Michael Montgomery with his shirt on

“You recognize, 40 certain has come speedy, and my metabolism is getting gradual, so this night can I make love with my blouse on?”

John Michael 1st viscount montgomery of alamein’s feeling somewhat chunky on the age of 40. If you’ll relate, take a look at 40 Genius Methods for Slimming Down in Your 40s.

Roger Miller has tips on being happy

“You’ll be able to’t take a bath in a parakeet cage, however you’ll feel free when you’ve a thoughts to.”

That is simply one of the hilarious nation songs written by means of Roger Miller. If his instructions for reaching happiness appear somewhat obscure to you, take a look at 70 Genius Tips to Get Right away Glad.

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk

“Were given it happening like Donkey Kong. Close my mouth. Slap your grandma.”

It seems that, the butt of the lady Hint Adkins is making a song about is so giant that it makes him spout gibberish.

Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty

“You are the reason why our youngsters are unpleasant, little darling.”

Loretta Lynn has a couple of songs that are not really nice, however this one’s specifically humorous.

Sammy Kershaw

“So, I made her the queen of my double-wide trailer, with the polyester curtains and the redwood deck. Instances she’s run off, and I have were given to path her—dang her black center and her lovely pink neck.”

You would assume the lady on this Sammy Kershaw tune can be just a bit extra appreciative.

Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison

“And if I ever have a son, I feel I am gonna title him Invoice or George! Anything else however Sue!”

It is no wonder this tune is as humorous as it’s. It was once written by means of everybody’s favourite youngsters’s poet, Shel Silverstein.

I don

“Senor, aqui esta su llave, ‘muy guapo,’ and one thing about Ho-Ho’s, and I believed, ‘Oh, child, no matter you assert.'”

She should be lovely fascinating if she’s satisfied Blaine Larsen to marry a lady he can not perceive.

Bubba shot the jukebox

“A reckless discharge of a gun: that is what the officials are claiming. Bubba hollered, ‘Reckless? Heck, I hit simply the place I used to be aiming.'”

Getting under the influence of alcohol and behaving recklessly is a not unusual theme for nation songs, however this time the alcoholic in query took issues out on a jukebox as a substitute of someone else.

Joe Diffie playing guitar

“Repair me up with a model. Simply consider I love blondes. I’m going to be the lifetime of the birthday celebration, even if I am useless and long past.”

Joe Diffie’s no longer petrified of loss of life. He simply desires his corpse to be planted on the bar in a Weekend at Bernies-style tribute.

David Frizzell

“Then you’ll slap my backside, each time you inform a comic story. Simply so long as you stay tipping, neatly, I’m going to snort till you might be broke.”

Why rent a decorator when you’ll have a real wino redo your own home?

Ray Stevens outside a church

“Even with out a call for participation, there have been a minimum of 500 re-dedications. And all of us were given re-baptized whether or not we would have liked it or no longer.”

Nation funnyman Ray Stevens has written quite a lot of wacky tunes, however this one a few squirrel on a rampage within a church is phenomenally hilarious.

I love you, honey

“I like you honey. I like your cash. Maximum of all I like your car.”

This foolish tune by means of Patsy Cline was once launched earlier than she made it giant and her song were given moodier.

Guys Do It All the Time

“Recover from it, honey. Lifestyles’s a two manner side road. Or you will not be a person of mine. So, I had some beers with the ladies ultimate night time. Guys do it at all times.”

This humorous little track proves males are not the one ones who can reduce to rubble their lives after a couple of too many.

As good as I once was

“I ain’t as excellent as I as soon as was once, however I am as excellent as soon as as I ever was once.”

The ravages of time impact everybody, even Toby Keith.

Jason Aldean performs Hicktown

“Smartly, you’ll see the neighbor’s butt crack nailing on his shingles, and his girl’s smoking Pall Mall’s watchin’ Laura Ingalls. And Granny’s gettin’ lit. She’s headin’ out to bingo.”

Jason Aldean waxes poetic at the charms of nation existence on this humorous homage to rising up filth deficient within the sticks.


“She could also be an angel who spends all wintry weather, bringin’ the homeless blankets and dinner, an ordinary Nobel Peace Prize winner, however I in point of fact hate her. I’m going to recall to mind a reason why later.”

This Lee Ann Womack tune about discovering fault in the ones you might be jealous of is all too relatable.


“I am a sky-bo. That is a brand new more or less hobo for planes.”

This tune is much less funny-funny and extra “what on this planet is Merle Haggard speaking about”-funny.

Only Prettier

“We are identical to you, simplest prettier.”

Miranda Lambert alternatives up the pettiness the place Lee Ann Womack left off and in point of fact runs with it, tossing round a number of low-key (and a few considerably much less low-key) insults.

Hillbilly bone

“Nah, you ain’t gotta be born out within the sticks with an F-150 and a 30-06, or have a Bubba within the circle of relatives tree to get on down with me.”

Even town boys need spend their existence consuming grits and ingesting in honky tonks, when you consider Blake Shelton.

Put another log on the fire

“Do not I alert you when you find yourself gettin fats? Ain’t I a gonna take you fishin’ with me in the future? Smartly, a person can not love a lady greater than that.”

The one factor that makes this tune humorous as a substitute of horrifically offensive is that it is a few girl leaving the person who says these things.


“So I’m going to depart you with a promise, from a center that is heard sufficient: In the future you can to find out that you’ll’t get away my love.”

It is the sheer stage of unabashed craziness that makes this tune so humorous.

I don

“The following factor I consider, I used to be listening to marriage ceremony bells, status by means of a lady in an extended white lacey veil. I raised the veil, and he or she smiled at me with out her left entrance teeth.”

Alan Jackson will get wasted and by accident marries the improper girl, as one does in nation songs.

Once upon a rhyme

“Smartly, I used to be under the influence of alcohol the day my mother were given out of jail, and I went to select her up within the rain. However earlier than I may get to the station in my pickup truck, she were given runned over by means of a darned previous educate.”

Now not simplest is that this tune an out of this world send-up of the rustic song trade, this verse is especially hilarious.

All my ex

“All my exes reside in Texas, and Texas is where I would in point of fact like to be. However all my exes reside in Texas. And that’s the reason why I dangle my hat in Tennessee.”

What on Earth did George Strait do to those girls that he needed to transfer to every other state to steer clear of bumping into them? Bet he does not know How Good Males By no means Ruin Up.

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